I like to drive, and I like to drive fast. It is such a rush, and it feels so good. I mean, can you really blame me? Pretty much everyone drives over the speed limit sometimes. It’s a natural thing to do. However, driving over the speed limit certainly includes the risk of getting a speeding ticket. This is why my employer should be required to pay for my radar detector and my speeding tickets.
You see, speeding tickets are expensive. An unexpected ticket could really put me in a difficult financial situation. Plus, getting a speeding ticket can cause significant burdens such as dealing with court dates and even difficulty getting a job. But more than that, this is a health issue. Driving without a radar detector creates unhealthy anxiety—causing one to constantly worry about getting a ticket. Also, I’m much more likely to get in an accident and physically injure myself if I’m looking out for cops rather than keeping my eyes on the road. Therefore, my employer should be required to buy me a radar detector for my car.
Now, even with a radar detector there is a risk of getting a speeding ticket. No radar detector works perfectly, and there is no guarantee that everyone will know how to use a radar detector correctly every time. This is why my employer should not only pay for my radar detector, but also for any speeding tickets that I happen to get while driving. Again, this is a health issue. If I were to get a ticket and have to go to court there are psychological and physical health risks. Courts are certainly stressful places, plus I run the risk of dying in a car accident on my way there.
My employer should be required to pay for my radar detector and speeding tickets. Don’t try to tell me that I should just drive the speed limit. It’s my car, and I’m free to do with it what I want.
Disclaimer: This article is satire and is not meant to perfectly equate speeding tickets with unplanned pregnancies. All children are beautiful gifts from God whether they are “planned” by us or not.