There’s a great article going around entitled “Marriage Isn’t For You” that very eloquently explains why marriage should not be a self-centered commitment in which one is concerned only with their own happiness. Rather, the article claims, marriage is about your spouse—about making them happy and helping them to actualize “their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams.” While I think this article has good intentions, I don’t think that it takes its thesis far enough. Sure, marriage is not for you, but ultimately it’s not for your spouse either—it’s for God.
Like the author claims, marriage is definitely not about making yourself happy, but it’s not always about making your spouse happy either. True love is focused on God, and that sometimes means making people unhappy in order to draw them closer to God. Marriage is not about making your spouse smile or laugh every day. Marriage is not about being nice, it’s about loving your spouse as God loves them. Marriage is not only about making your spouse happy, it’s about making them holy.
Truthfully, this means that sometimes you will make your spouse sad, sometimes you will make your spouse angry, and sometimes you will make your spouse cry. However, the beauty of marriage is in these moments, where you challenge your spouse to better love God even when it makes them unhappy.
So, the author had it right: marriage isn’t for you, but it’s not only for your spouse either. Marriage is meant to symbolize the beauty of the human soul espoused to Christ. Marriage is ultimately to bring glory to God.